Two dorks react to the news

Posted: May 3, 2011 in Words

I was laying in bed Sunday night, reading a new book, when Craig texted me. The following is the exact text message conversation we had during the course of the breaking news:

Craig: Pres is about to make a “dramatic” statement to the world in case u didn’t know. might want to tune in.

Me: Didn’t know, but watching now

(a few minutes later)

Me: Bin laden is dead

Craig: That’s what they are hinting at on CNN

Me: Fox reporting it

(14 minutes go by)

Me: Please tell me you just heard Wolf Blitzer say “it’s been confirmed that the body that was killed is Bin Laden’s body”

Craig: I missed it. Sounds epic though.

Me: These news people just chatter and chatter…take a commercial break. Show me the new Kia Sorento or a Taco Bell meal in a box.

Craig: We had to change it from Geraldo. That was brutal.

Me: Yeah, he’s loud and has an awful mustache.

(the president’s speech is half an hour late)

Craig: By the way, I’m on White House time tomorrow. I’ll see you at 2 p.m.

Me: This guy on CNN is like the poor man’s Anderson Cooper.

Craig: We are on MSNBC. Not too terrible.

Me: Geraldo’s mustache just exploded into red/white/blue confetti…he’s been holding onto that trick since 9/11

Craig: Wolf Blitzer just announced he’s changed his name to Betsy Ross

Me: Katie Couric is still terrible at news.

Craig: But sorta cute almost. Brian Williams, hands down the best.

Me: I called my mom to tell her. Her reaction: “Well, you know he had bad kidneys.”

Craig: Didn’t know that but good info. Important actually.

Me: The USA put him on DIE-alysis, right? Amiright? Up top!

Craig: Urine? More like ur-out!

Me: Hiyo!

Craig: #funwithkidneydisease

Me: By the way, I agree. NBC is by far the least annoying.

(a few minutes later)

Me: George W.- “Yeah, but only after I loosened it…”

Me: The downside to all this? I’m missing a rerun of How I Met Your Mother

Craig stopped texting back after that, but that’s exactly how our conversation went.

(For a serious response to this news, read this article by John Piper.)

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