I’ve been watching a lot of basketball lately. The Rockets are trying to get into the playoffs and March Madness is in full swing, so I have to, right?
Liz hates basketball, but because she’s a good sport and she loves me, last night she sat down for a few minutes to watch the Rockets. I quickly found out how much my sweet bride knows about the sport. (Hint: Nothing.) This is the actual conversation we had:
Liz: Ugh, I hate basketball. How much longer til it’s over?
Me: A few months.
Liz: What?! No way. March Madness? It’ll be over soon, right?
Me: No, babe. This is the Rockets. March Madness is a college tournament. The NBA will play until summer.
Liz: Ugh…OK, so who’s on the Rockets?
Me: Well, Luis Scola, Kevin Martin, Chuck Hayes- do you just want to know everybody that plays for the Rockets?
Liz: No. Do they have anybody I’d know?
Me: Probably not. How many NBA players can you name? Come on. I bet you could name five guys playing in the NBA right now. Let’s go.
Liz: OK, um…Kobe Bryant?
Me: That’s one.
Liz: Does Shaq still play?
Me: Barely. That’s two.
Liz: (about a minute of deep thought)
Me: You’re kidding. You can’t think of one more?
Liz: I don’t know. Name some and I’ll tell you if I’ve heard of them.
Me: What about LeBron James?
Liz: Oh, yeah! I forgot about him. Keep going.
Me: Dwight Howard, Dwayne Wade, Kevin Garnett…
Liz: No, I don’t know any of those guys. (looking at the TV) Is that Larry Bird?
Me: Wow. He hasn’t played in twenty years.
Liz: Who was that crazy guy with the hair and he dressed real weird?
Me: Dennis Rodman?
Liz: Yeah, Dennis Rodman. Where’s he?
Me: Retired ten years ago.
Liz: I remember Michael Jordan. I know he retired but I know him. He played for the Chicago Bulldogs, right?
Me: The who?
Liz: The Bulldogs? Is that right? No, wait. That’s Jasper. The Bulls! The Chicago Bulls. And he played with Pistol Pete, I think.
Me: Pistol Pete?! (I’m laughing uncontrollably at this point.)
Liz: I don’t know. I saw a video about him once in P.E.
Me: He died in the 80’s.
Liz: I hate basketball. I’m going to bed.